You're not alone; God hasn't left you.

Romans 8: 39- "Nor height, nor depth, not any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Sitting here in my house, alone, (well kinda.. I have my dogs.. Lol) my heart aches.

Why do we feel loneliness? 

Most of us have felt lonely at some point. Loss of a friend, romantic relationship, away from our families, and so much more. Our hearts and our mind convince us that we are all alone. That may be when we are in a crowded room or like me, physically alone in a home. We also feel alone when we go through big transitions in life. Going to college, moving away, starting a new hobby, getting a new job, having a baby, in marriage/a relationship, SO many reasons and situations. 

I was going to go into a clever introduction.. but I think I will keep it simple.

I miss my husband. 

I see Cory every month, 10 days out of the month, one third of the year. When you have a husband as wonderful as mine, it only gets harder every month. Of course I come to expect him to leave, but I cannot imagine not being sad when he leaves or not missing him. Yes, I know that compared to some, we have a great situation. However, it still bugs me, when people tell me "we have it good! Only have to see each other 10 days, get a paycheck and then he's gone again." What?! Who really finds joy in that?? Going each day without the person you love the most is so hard. I look back to the season in my life when Cory and I were not together. I knew God was preparing my heart for so many things. During that time one of the many lessons I learned, was how to be dependent and to rely solely on Jesus Christ. I became so independent during that time. I spent most of my time alone and was perfectly okay with it. I learned so much about myself and how to be okay with it just being me and God. Is He trying to teach you something? There's a lesson in everything and a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3). Now that Cory and I are married, there is me and God, Cory and God and God, Cory and me. Three relationships that intertwine so beautifully. I have the two best friends EVER. So why do I feel so alone? When we got married, we became one. God did this because just like Adam and Eve, we are not meant to be alone. Genesis 2:18-" And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." So when Cory leaves, its literally like half of me is gone. Of course I cry every single time. So many of my students ask me "how do you do it? I couldn't. That's so hard." The ONLY way I get through is through prayer.  Communication with Christ is what gets me through. I try to talk to God as much as I talk to Cory, and no I'm not always successful. I always have Christ. And not many of you will understand the pain of not having someone you love with you, but some of you will, and some of you will feel it worse than me. We all feel lonely about something. And most times we feel alone and separated from the things we care about the most. We wonder why God has chosen to make us feel this way. Tests and trials have forever been used to change our hearts. Separating you from something you care about, shows you just how much you really do care, but it also shows you that you cant be fully dependent on earthly things. So once again, what is God trying to teach you? How to be independent, how to rely on HIM, whats your heart telling you? So many of us feel lonely and we don't even know why, almost as if something is missing. Whenever I am in full submission to the Lord, I never feel more fulfilled. Yes, I will ALWAYS miss Cory. But the only way I get through each hour, week and month, is by fully submitting to the Lord. Even when Cory is here and everything is great, if I am not submitted to the Lord, my heart does not feel complete and I become lonely. The only way I escape complete loneliness is by constantly giving and living my life for Him. Society tells us to be completed by our spouses.. WRONG. We are to be completed by Christ and complimented by our spouses. With that stuck in our minds, we can feel so unfulfilled by our spouses, which leads some to make bad decisions that can ruin their marriage. No marriage is perfect, but it can be better with Jesus. I don't see how people go through life without Him?! And because I strive to make Him the center of our lives, God allows me to fall more in love with Him and with Cory more each day. So many times we feel loneliness when we are surrounded by people, people who love us. And that is because we are not submitting to the person who matters most. No matter what struggle you are going through Christ is always the answer. He always pulls us through. He NEVER leaves you! Isaiah 41:10 He never leaves your side! We can grow apart from Christ, but its not because He is not trying to get your attention.. Its because we ignore Him and push Him away. He does whatever He can to get your attention. He speaks to us all the time, but we have pushed Him to the back of our mind that we don't even realize He is trying to get our attention. Starting off this new year, make a commitment to draw closer to Christ each day. That will set you on the path to the best year yet! Start with prayer and you will never feel lonely. And especially newlyweds, this year is a fresh start to have your marriage be a complete dedication to Christ.

And if you're single.... This could be such an amazing experience for you! Being "alone" can be one of the most rewarding times of your life! I'm so serious. Being single is an amazing time to explore, figure our yourself, learn more about YOU. When we are in relationships, we tend to worry solely about the other person and even conform into what they want us to be. Just be you! Enjoy it. If you hear nothing else, hear this... You will never find "the one" until you focus on THE one, Jesus Christ. You will go through randoms, make decisions you regret, and waste your time until you finally give your heart, soul, life, and time to Him, Until you are satisfied being alone and only focusing on Christ, you wont find the person He made for you. During the time of being single I found a whole other side of myself. I read books, I went on mission trips, got healthier than EVER, and was so happy because I gave my full attention to Jesus. But its not easy.. its a process of learning the difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness does not have Christ in the equation. Solitude is being okay being by yourself, because you know you have the BEST man taking care of you and He loves you more than anyone ever will. This is a time to do whatever you want, as long as its in God's will. Do not stay stuck in a place when you have opportunities knocking at your door. And to, if your single, you do not want to make your ex be glad you are not together. Get your act together and live a life that makes him think "dang! Shes got a lot going on.. Shes really a good catch! Why did we break up again?" Not... "I'm so glad we broke up.. Did you hear what she did last weekend?" Yea.. Do not be that girl. God has such an amazing plan for your life! And getting out of that relationship was probably what you needed to get things going. During the time in my life when I was single, I built the foundation of my relationship with Christ. I know God would not have given me Cory again if we did not both have a strong relationship with Him. He wanted me to find my completeness in Him. I had to make Him my king. Who's your king? Are you being asked by Christ to step away from a relationship? Pray about it. If God wants you to step away, step away. God wants your heart. He wants all of it.

So whether you are single or in a relationship, you will only find your completeness in Christ. Not your marriage, not a random. Find it in Him and then He will fulfill your hearts desires.

But what if you just feel like God has betrayed you? We feel like God has gone away or we don't feel Him like we used to? God is still there. God has not left us, but we have left God. It's a daily commitment to be close to God. He is perfect, therefore He is always present. But we push him away. We push Him away with our stubbornness. We don't pray like we should, or we don't spend enough time with Him like we should. Just as in any relationship, you have to give. You can't keep taking without giving some back if you want the relationship to survive, much less thrive. You're not alone. God is always there. YOU have to take the responsibility to believe in HIM, and to love for Him. Life doesn't revolve around you, or even your significant other it revolves around Him. No matter what happens in your life, the good is because of God. It could be worse. And it could be better. The only way to make it worse is to keep living as if He isn't there or doesn't exist. By living your life for God, He can make your life better. You can't make yourself happy without Christ. But so many times people think that it's just going to get better instantly. And it can! But you have to let God change your life. It's a daily commitment. You're not alone. God hasn't left you. So even when no one else is there, and you've even disappointed yourself, God is there. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray.